Dr. Miho Takao, an obstetrician-gynecologist, has a cheerful smile and positive words that brighten and lighten the mood of those around her. How did she develop such a dignified and straightforward attitude? We’ll explore her way of life and thinking, reflecting on the ups and downs she’s experienced.
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←Click here for vol.2
● If someone you care about is feeling down, just be there for them
● If your actions change, your heart will change
● Create a cycle of “thank you” by using your strengths
If someone you care about is feeling down, just be there for them
In today’s society, where many people struggle with mental health, you might find yourself wanting to support loved ones like your partner or friends, in addition to facing your own anxieties.
“If someone is feeling down, just be there for them. I think that’s all you need to do.
If they seem like they want to talk, just say, ‘I’m here to listen.’ Don’t offer opinions, just listen. You could also say, ‘Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to do or anywhere you’d like to go with me.’ Like having tea together or going to see a painting.
In time, new perspectives will gradually emerge within that person. Again, waiting for time to pass is important, I think.”
Have you ever had the experience of feeling down all day, but after a week, you’re able to forget about it, at least while working?
As mentioned in episode 2, “everything changes.” Even feelings of pain and suffering gradually change in terms of the situation and your emotions if you observe them closely, like looking through a magnifying glass. The important thing is whether you can notice these changes yourself.
“After about two weeks, if you ask, ‘How are you doing? Are you feeling a bit calmer and able to have some tea?’, they might realize some small changes within themselves. They might say they have more energy to stop by a cafe compared to when they were staying home. Even if they reply superficially with, ‘Not really, not at all,’ it’s fine as long as they notice the changes internally.”
There’s a small tip for “how to ask.” During medical examinations or yoga instruction, when aiming to improve a specific ailment, instead of asking, “How are you? Are you feeling better?”, she asks specifically, “This part should be changing in this way, how is it?”
“Instead of vaguely asking an open-ended question, it’s a closed question that can be answered with yes or no. It’s difficult to notice small changes when you’re in the midst of worries, so by specifically suggesting, ‘You might be changing in this way,’ they can notice the changes in themselves.“
If your actions change, your heart will change
Dr. Takao, who is also a sports doctor and yoga instructor, provides advice on conditioning the body through exercise, adapting to lifestyle changes. How are mental health and exercise connected?
“You don’t have to force yourself to exercise when you’re feeling down. If you enjoy exercise, you’re probably already doing it, and it’s a high hurdle to start when you’re feeling down.
However, it’s important to know that exercise can be one way to lift your spirits when you’re feeling low. Research shows exercise can improve mental health.
The only thing we can change on our own is our skeletal muscles. It’s difficult to change our mental state or consciousness directly; even if we try to overcome feeling down with willpower, it’s not easy. But we can change our actions. And if we change our actions, our feelings will naturally follow.“
Create a cycle of “thank you” by using your strengths
She also mentioned the importance of relying on others to maintain a healthy mind.
“You don’t have to carry everything on your own. We can’t live alone, can we? Relying on someone is also an important skill.
Even if you understand this intellectually, it can be difficult to put into practice. We’ve been taught to ‘become able to do what you can’t do.'”
But everyone has different strengths. Even if one person feels uncomfortable asking for help with something, it may not be a burden at all for someone who excels in that area.
The person who asks says, ‘Thank you, you saved me,’ and the person who helps feels happy to be useful. I feel this cycle of gratitude becomes increasingly important as we age.“
“Listening to someone who is struggling is important, but ultimately, it’s up to that person to decide what to do. Life belongs to that individual. No matter how many kind words others offer, it’s ultimately up to the person to realize and take action.
Perhaps the best way to approach listening to someone else’s worries, or even our own, is to think of them as ‘a world within a picture-story show.’
I’ve also had times that felt like being in a storm. But it will be okay as time passes. Most things will work out somehow.“
As the interview wound down, we talked about how Dr. Takao enjoys taking pictures of the sky. “The moon was beautiful last night, wasn’t it?” she said with a smile, showing her smartphone with photos of the sky in various forms, such as blue skies and a white crescent moon visible in broad daylight.
Even if you’re busy, live in a city, or are caught up in worries, you can imitate her by taking a moment to look up at the sky and think, “Ah, it’s beautiful,” even if it’s just for a little while.
Just as the sky we look up at connects us all equally, everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. When you’re dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, it might be good to look up at the sky
