Zenchi Uno, who is active in conveying the philosophy of Zen, which is attracting attention from all over the world, in easy-to-understand words, has been involved in many activities related to mental health and delivers messages that lighten the hearts of people who are struggling with life.
What kind of advice can a monk from a 2,500-year-old history of Buddhism and Zen offer for the various problems people are experiencing today?
“I feel so alone, so deeply lonely.”
Even if there are many people around me, I suddenly feel lonely, thinking, “I am alone anyway,” or “No one understands me.” I feel depressed when I eat alone, and at night before going to bed, I cannot sleep, thinking, “This is how I will die alone.”
If there is a moment when hearts connect,
it becomes “the strength to live.”
I heard a story about a popular person who had 100 friends come to the person’s birthday party. But here’s the surprise! The person had to attend 100 birthday parties in a year! Because attending one party meant the person couldn’t skip another, the person is always busy. It may sound funny, but there’s definitely a “burden of having many friends.” I probably shouldn’t say this, but to make the most of your time, it’s better to be selective about your friends.
I have a friend in Kyoto, Japan, who is a Buddhist priest and the head of an organization addressing the issue of suicide. Along with his colleagues, he provides telephone counseling for those struggling with thoughts of wanting to die. I once asked him a difficult question: “What distinguishes between someone who calls in distress and ultimately takes their own life, and someone who, despite their thoughts of dying, decides to stay and seek help?”
He thought for a moment and replied, “Every caller has their own circumstances and different reasons for wanting to die. We can’t provide solutions or advice; all we can do is be there for them and empathize with their pain. But if you imagine yourself in that situation, and if even one person in the world could understand how much you’re suffering and say, ‘I understand,’ that might make you reconsider.”
The person who understands you doesn’t have to be a friend or relative. Even if it’s someone you’ve never met and are only connected with over the phone, if they feel that you are truly there for them, it might make them reconsider thoughts of death.
Realizing you are not alone through daily meals.
Since Zen views all aspects of life as part of practice, mealtime is also considered an important part of practice. It is customary to chant a short verse called “Gokan-no-ge” before each meal and to eat quietly while sitting in zazen meditation. The Gokan-no-ge includes important Zen teachings such as: “Reflect on the effort and hard work that went into preparing the food,” “Consider whether your actions make you deserving of this meal,” and “Accept this meal as good medicine for maintaining your health, rather than simply to satisfy your desires.”
As you quietly eat your rice and vegetables, you might reflect on who grew them and feel a connection with the many people involved in bringing the food to you. By appreciating the effort and care that went into the food, you may realize that you are supported by many people and not alone. However, when eating with friends, you might get caught up in the conversation and miss this reflection. Eating alone allows you to notice and feel more, increasing your sensitivity. This makes it easier to recognize that you are not alone.
As long as you are part of society, you are contributing to someone’s life.
When you turn on the tap, water comes out, and you can eat in a warm room. If you can appreciate that you are sustained by such conveniences, you may realize that you, too, could be helping someone somewhere. Even a small part like a single screw or spring is essential to moving a large machine. When you buy something, someone earns a salary. Everything you do in society—working, living, eating, and being active—is always connected to someone else.
Even if you become old, sick, and dependent on someone else’s care, you can still give kindness and compassion in return. One of my acquaintances, who works as a catering staff member at a nursing home, once shared this story with me. They were short-staffed, and while the person was serving the meals, the miso soup got cold. In one room, the person apologized to an elderly lady, saying, “I’m sorry, your miso soup has gotten cold.” The lady replied, “Don’t worry, I’ll warm it up in my mouth and eat it.”
When those words were heard, my acquaintance couldn’t help but cry. There was a feeling of sorrow for not being able to serve a hot meal and gratitude for the kind words in return. Even if you are on the receiving end of care, you can still offer something “happy” to those who take care of you. I have been telling you that practice in Buddhism is about getting closer to the “wonderful person” called Buddha. Perhaps my acquaintance caught a glimpse of the Buddha in that lady.
Have a try !
For information on Zazen, please refer to the Soto Zen website.
（https://www.sotozen-net.or.jp/sotozazen）
